15.3.20

A COUPLE OF “VIRUS RIGHTS” ACTIVISTS VOLUNTARILY CATCHES CORONAVIRUS TO SAVE IT FROM W.H.O. GENOCIDE


An American couple militating for “the right of viruses to live” traveled to China, South Korea, Iran, and Italy before returning home in order to catch the coronavirus and help it survive the World Health Organization’s efforts to fight it.

Jason and Kelly Dawson from Seattle, are members of a radical splinter group called Defenders of All Life (DAL), who broke off from PETA in 2018.


Firmly convinced that the covid-19 virus was created by God and should be allowed to live like all of God’s creations, the couple was horrified by the vast and well-coordinated efforts deployed by the World Health Organization to exterminate it.

The couple decided to leave their jobs and use their savings to try as hard as they could to catch the virus and save it from extinction.

In an interview via Facetime, Mr. Dawson described their three-week trip through the four infected countries.

“We traveled to Wuhan first and visited hospitals to meet sick people. But the safety measures were raised, so we looked for other countries where the controls were slacker.”

Kelly Dawson said she knew the first part of their mission was accomplished when they began feeling ill after three days in Italy.

“Italy was ideal for us! We could literally lick museums and churches’ door handles and no one stopped us. We got sick almost immediately.”

The couple was able to return home via Spain and Mexico and now hope to get confirmation that they are infected by the coronavirus and not just the flu or other disease.


During a press conference held this morning in Washington, Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar mentioned the couple as two of nine members of the DOL organization that are under the close watch of the FBI and could be arrested as a measure of public safety.

Virus Rights activism remains a marginal movement but it seems to be gaining popularity among some Christian groups as well as far-left environmental activists.

Many of them argue that viruses just want to live and reproduce, just like humans and animals, and that deliberately and methodically exterminating other lifeforms, even viruses or bacterias, constitutes a genocide.

The Defenders of Life claim that their members’ choice to carry viruses is a political action protected by their constitutional rights, but the American law and jurisprudence refute the DoL’s claims.

The HHS confirmed that the couple had been tested for the coronavirus and could be arrested and placed in forced quarantine if they are found positive and should refuse to cooperate with authorities.

SATIRE WNDR

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